April 2022

The Soul that Forgot Her Past

by Annie Kochmanski

Ada Spring, age 5, suffered from memory loss and anxious feelings. Ada was afraid of everything. She didn’t like dark closed spaces or unpredictable people. Ada grew up in a small room. Her claustrophobia made her think she was living in a box as the four walls closed in. All she had was herself and her jewelry. She loved her jewelry because it was magical. Sometimes it would cling onto her neck. Sometimes it would misshapen itself from a balled pendant into a dangly chain. Her jewelry was the only thing that made her feel beautiful because it would change, for her. With that jewelry also came an endless supply of powder. She always applied the powder to her face and hands. She gently rubbed the flour-like substance on herself because she didn’t have anything else to do. Her routine consisted of waking up, putting on her jewelry and her powder, and going back to sleep.

Some days, she would try to remember her past. Whenever she tried to remember, she would become so exhausted that she’d fall asleep again. She never left her room. She stayed within the same four corners. She felt so tired all the time. So tired that she would never open her eyes. For some odd reason, it took so much pressure for her to open her eyes. She never once saw her room, or the powder and jewelry. She hated the feel of her room so much; that was another reason to not open her eyes.

But there was a part of Ada that craved the world. Although her body was weak, her imaginations were vivid. She would think of life outside of her room. Deep down, she wanted to conquer her fears, and she knew she could do it.

One day as she woke up, the thoughts of excitement clung to her and saturated her brain. A memory came to her. A woman who looked a lot like her held Ada’s palm as she walked barefoot in the grass. The woman had loving eyes but tears as well. Seeing that woman made Ada feel curious and loved. There was a part in her life that she was so happy. She didn’t know that she could be this happy. There was a being that looked like her. She needed to find this person. There had been a huge gap in her life and this was the piece that was missing. This spring of existence pushed her to relinquish her fear, and just as she opened her eyes to seize the world she once feared, Ada regretted her decision.
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